Home

All students in the founding batch have to write papers on home--it's the theme of the Critical Thinking classes.  Between tutoring sessions and reading my own students' papers, I've been overwhelmed with new definitions and conceptions of what this word means for different people.  Yet, I've had little time to engage with it myself, outside of thinking back to my class on living Italian philosopher Giorgio Agamben in my undergrad.  He's all about rethinking the political realm with the concept of potentiality--there's a connection to home and working at a university writing centre in its first year there I want to write about.

But, now isn't the time or place to work through my thoughts on his philosophy; however, after a particularly tiring day at work today, I've come to the conclusion I'm pretty homesick.  My culture shock has been a slowly developing dust ball (it doesn't make sense to say snowball here) where I first felt fine and excited to be living in India.  Now that school is nearing our halfway mark, and I've finished reading and commenting on my students' second paper (and also because we had a counselor come and talk to us today about how we need to be writing about our experience), I feel like I need to purge.  

I'm frustrated by the politics and business moves that happen in a university/business' first year.  I can't help but feel like the student's aren't being looked after because of it.  I can't take a walk outside of my guarded society, as I've been warned of the potential dangers of being a white woman in the state of Haryana.  I have to hire a cab to take me to a market where I can buy fresh vegetables and meat.  Don't even ask how complicated it is to buy beer or liquor here.  On election day in this state (which happens to be this Wednesday, and classes are cancelled) we've been warned not to leave the society because politicians running for office give out free alcohol and, as I was just told today, supposedly heroine to entice people to vote for them--I don't want to believe this and am actually skeptical.  Supposedly, the threat of riots is pretty real.  I've lost about half my thickness of hair due to stress, lack of nutrition, and showering in less than potable water.  

I statements pervade the previous paragraph, and I realize how privileged I am regardless of all my complaints, and how important this experience really is.  But for now, I'm unhappy.  I mostly want to teach my own classes again, develop curriculum.  And also, to hug TTHT.  

I am very grateful for my roommates though.  I never thought I'd get along so well with such a bunch of misfits, but I really think I'm sane right now because of them.  I'm also very grateful to get to see my dad in Bangkok on Friday--it can't come soon enough.